How To Deal With Your Insecurities
Our insecurities can make life really difficult to go on- it seems like the more you notice them, the louder they become. Read to find out what a therapist recommends to cope with them.
No doubt social media triggers a lot of our insecurities. Uncomfortable situations are needed to help us grow but that doesn’t mean we necessarily enjoy them.
How to quiet these inner, critical voices in your head?
Licensed therapist, Dr. Melissa Hummelt, says that often times we internalize a caretaker’s (often mother or father) hurtful words in our childhood and they come up as these critical voices in our heads. Melissa recommends to take notice every time we hear these critical voices. “How are they talking to you? Try to describe the voice with adjectives. Is it fearful? Assertive? Abusive?” This exercise can help you identify whether it’s your actual thoughts or thoughts of others that you have internalized so much.
Maybe you’ll realize it’s the voice, or even words, of someone else.
So, how can we cope with them better?
Try to disassociate in your mind yourself and your insecurities.
If you think about it, this outer shell of yours is just a vessel. Your external appearance is only for a short while. If you can focus on improving your inner self instead, your life will be fuller and your eyes will shine the brightest with passion. Tell yourself:
I may not be the skinniest, the prettiest but I have so much to offer besides my looks.
The way you look has no significance compared to how you make people feel. What is it that people like about you? Weaknesses can make us vulnerable and sharing our vulnerabilities can be really powerful for our communities.
What are you comparing to others? Use that as motivation instead of discouragement. If I feel inadequate about something, it should motivate me to become better. So if you cannot change your body, change your attitude.
Accept your body.
Release that victimhood in that self depreciating talk and give your power back to you.
If you find yourself asking “Why was I born this way?”, the truth is: your story is so much bigger and you have something to tell others.
Find what that story is and bring it forward. Because you have greater stories to tell and you’ll make people feel better in their skin.
You can shape the world by embracing your insecurities bravely and sharing them with others.
Here is a good self-love exercise for you (although, beware it had some people cry!) :
Write all of your insecurities in paper. Then, go in front of a mirror and read all of those to yourself out loud.
Then, ask yourself: Would you say any of this to your friends?
No, right? Then, why are you saying them to your precious self?
Choose wisely your thoughts because what you think, you become. The mind is everything and talking to yourself positively with an action plan if it’s about things you can change is very helpful.
Remember that no one is you and that is your power.
If you are looking for more motivation or just to rant off about your day, you can download Ashley: AI Friend where you can chat with a therapist-trained AI friend or real life users to relieve your anxiety. Ashley is free to use. https://bit.ly/AshleyIn
